hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
