I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
