Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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