Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
