Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
