I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
