So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
