'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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