I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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