Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
