u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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