Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
