Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You were trust falling into bushes
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
