I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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