I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
