I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
