I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
