Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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