You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
