his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Come see our sink grown plant.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
