I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm bleeding and have questions
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
