I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
