Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
