can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im holly from the hills drunk
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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