I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize