I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Did I show you my penis last night?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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