If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
