I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So vagazzling was a success
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
