you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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