Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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