You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
