Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the day after is always just damage control
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
