to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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