I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
