Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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