All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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