Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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