I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
