Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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