Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How does one acquire holy water?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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