Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
