yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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