Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize