It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
