So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
