epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
