we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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