Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize