So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize