The maid of honor just puked.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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