I looked at my own cervix.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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