We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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