singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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