The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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