I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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