God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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