I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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