Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If I die, sorry about rent.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
