Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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