He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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