Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
