some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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