What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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