just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
