we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
